ExitByDeath ❤️‍🔥

You can't protect your kids from being bullied in school. Every kid or most kids at some point in one form or another will get bullied in school or teased. So what you can do is not to fully shield them from being bullied because that's impossible. You cannot be with them 24/7 and protect them and becoming a wall between them and the world. But what you can do is to teach them to build them up in a way that they are the wall that is between themselves and the world. teach your kid and build your kids in a way where they do have this wall of protection with them always in such situation where there is a bully bullying them or teasing them. So they have to be able to handle the bully and the situation where someone is bullying them or teasing them. I have a friend that got bullied in school because of the name she had. It's a completely normal name but it got so bad that her parents allowed her to change her name at very young age and that's in my opinion is very wrong because it's the parents fault that the child could not handle being bullied in school. I'm not protecting the bullies here. I'm not defending them. Being a bully is very bad and that's another subject. But the point is she was a child that was not strong enough to handle being teased because of her name. And the name was not even anything bad or anything weird or odd or nothing. Kids tease and bully each other a lot of times about all kinds of thing about shoes, name, hair, you name it. You cannot protect them forever. You can't go to the bully either and say, "Hey, don't bully my kid." I mean, it's if the situation is very bad, sure, you can and you must, but the point is your kid has to be able to handle this situation alone by itself without the help of you. And that's how you build up your kid to be able to function outside in the world alone. Not mommy or daddy running to protect the kid. Because bullying can happen not just in school but anywhere in high school, in university, at work, between neighbors. Bullies are everywhere actually. And they they have all kinds of psychological issues. But the problem here is we concentrate too much on the bullies and not the ones being bullied because the ones that being bullied are the ones that can actually stop the bully. So you have to give the kids abilities to be able to have this psychological wall around themselves to protect them from the bully from within themselves without anybody needing to run to the rescue all the time. That's not possible. And how do you do that? By making your kid strong within itself. The kid has to realize that people's opinion doesn't matter. They all have an opinion. I mean, if for example, you change the kid's name to something, they going to bully the kid about the shoes and stuff. There is always a reason to bully somebody. I mean, from the point of view of the the bully. So what you have to do is you can't concentrate on every possible variation or possibility of oh maybe the shoes color must be right this got to match that got to match. No you got to build your kid right with the psychological wall that can protect the kid against the bullies. And I think in such situation when parents give up give in to the kid that oh they bully me please I need to change my name that's the parents actually being weak here instead of talking to the kid and making the kid realize that listen the fault is not actually on you because of your name the fault is over there on that person that's pulling you to teasing you have to be able to accept yourself accept who you are. And by allowing the child to change the name, they actually kind of reaffirm and confirm the bully's teasing. In a way, they agree with the bully that okay, you win. The name is not good. Let's change our kids' name. Now, imagine your parents. You you have a kid and you you name your kid something. you really like and the kid grows up to be that name and then just some random kid in school forces you to back down and change your kid's name just for a teasing and that's not okay. That's the parents fault. And this this type of behavior actually makes the child weaker because the child not only didn't get protection from the parents, the child actually looking at this and sees, oh, the bully is actually very strong because the bully won here. The bully won over my parents. They backed out and changed my name. So, he would back out or she would back out. And that's actually very bad to show your kid that hey we are backing out. Okay, the bully wins. You get to change your name. No, that's the complete opposite of what you should do. You have to put a stop to the bully, not give in to the bully. Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. We will change the name. And this situation goes into the kid and the kid grows up continuing being a weak kid where every time somebody bullies her or bullies him, she or he wants to back down, run away because the kid never got the strength needed to withstounds the bully. Even the parents run away. So in such situation be strong. Be strong for the kid and make the kid strong. Make the kid realize that listen, you have to find yourself, your true self where you feel comfortable with who you are or who you want to be. And no matter what others tell you, don't let them change who you are or who you want to be. What you are and what you want to be is on you and only on you. and you get to decide that, not some bully or teaser at school. And the name change actually didn't solve any problem. The fact is the problem still is there. Getting bullied is not the problem. The problem is running away. And which means this this now is a trauma for the kid and it stays in the kid. It got it never got solved. So it means the trauma is actually still in this kid. Even when the kid grows up to be a grown-up, the trauma is still there from the bullying because it never got solved. They ran away and hid it. That's what happened. So, it never got resolved. And this kid continues to suffer a neighbor, a relationship, or at work, because people will always bully you, tease you, force themselves upon you. And you have to be able to not panic in a situation like this to to withstand their words to say, "No, I'm okay. I'm this is me. I like these shoes. I like red shoes. I like green shoes. None of your business. I'm okay." And then on top of that, some people just want to forget the situation and move on. But you can never move on without fully processing the trauma. Unless you process the trauma correctly, it's going to always sit there within you and eat you and and maybe it comes out from time to time or comes out at the worst possible situation in life where you need your strength and suddenly the trauma starts coming back. So you got to you got to process these things. So changing the name is escapism. You escape it. But you didn't process it. You didn't solve it. You didn't handle it. And afterwards once you are grown up in my opinion you should go back to these memories and process it and somehow reconcile with the memories understand them from your view from the bully point of view and then you can move on then you can say children are can be nasty they bully I mean nobody's perfect for example and then you have to accept who you are once you accept who you are once you are happy with who you are, then no matter who says what, nothing is going to bite on you because you have that wall now. Hey, I am me. I am who I like to be. It doesn't matter what they say now and it doesn't matter what they said back then. It's okay. Whatever they said, it's okay now. I can move on. So once you have processed these memories the situation then you can move on otherwise it's going to haunt your own life and the best way is actually to process this in the situation as it happens and that's on the parents not on the kid. So the kid cannot also carry the blame. You cannot carry the blame that oh I got bullied in school. It's my fault. It's never your fault. It's actually your parents' fault that didn't give you the tools to handle bullies. And that's one of the most important tools in life to have actually because this situation arises many times often even in a cashier line at the grocery store there can be a bully. So this is an important tool to give to your kids so that they can manage through life more securely more protected. So if your child is getting bullied, I don't mean to not go talk to the bully. As a matter of fact, sometimes talking to the bully make this situation worse, but you need to concentrate on your child instead to make the child be able to handle the bully. There are all kinds of things a kid can do to manage a bullying situation. Well, it depends from bully to bully obviously. So there's no general rule how you can do this but the main point is concentrate on your kid so the kid can handle the bully so the kid doesn't feel weak that oh my god I'm being bullied I am weak and look my parents are now weak they are even running away from the bully they allow me to change the name so we all escaping nobody is escaping anything actually so the bully is going to be with you all life because now you're carrying a name That isn't your name. The name that's given to you, that is your name. No other name is your name. Even if you change it, especially if you change it because you got bullied in school, it means your true self is actually still hidden. You're afraid of coming out as the person you are. You will always hide forever from people in at work, in relationships, and it's going to affect everything in your life. Just that little thing. But that little thing is actually a big thing because you ran away from you. And the worst part of it is the parents allowed it to happen. The parents must stand there strong with the kid and say, "Hey, this is our child's name. You're not going to change her name. You're going to change your ways. There's nothing wrong with our child's name." And so on and so on. Thank you and goodbye.