ExitByDeath ❤️‍🔥

So the guy calls her every day, almost every day, I miss you. I love you. I need to talk to you. And they get involved and then they get engaged and now they're married. What happens now after marriage? Now she has to chase him. He barely calls calls her like in not even once a week after they have married. Oh, because also they don't live together right now because the guy works in another city and she lives uh with her parents right now and they're waiting for her to move to that city. There are some financial issues here. and he has a job. He he earns pretty good. Um but he sadly drinks a lot of alcohol it seems and gambling. So he uses up his money and his now wife, she doesn't have a lot of money. She has extremely low money and she lives with her parents and they are absolutely not rich people. They don't have a lot of money. So, she helps her parents with some money and she has the bill to pay for the wedding, which by the way, they were supposed to split this bill 50/50. So, she has paid already her 50% and the guy doesn't pay. So, they're still paying the wedding in a in a way she's paying 100% of it. And on top of that, she sends money to him to this guy. Like why the guy ask money from her? Because his money finishes every month. I don't know if he drinks it up, gambles it, what what's happening. He has a pretty good job. So he has money. It's not like he doesn't have money or anything. And now also the lovey lovey messages and calls. There is no more of those. And she has to chase him and he sometimes calls her in like weird this hour like 1:00 a.m. Maybe because he's drunk or something and she's not happy I I guess about this situation. But what to do now? They have married. very not fun situation I guess. So the point is they didn't know each other before that that long or well and uh okay the guy called her every every day sent her love messages and all kinds of thing but still though I think you shouldn't jump into marriage unless you're really really sure like really really know this person. Another thing is I don't think she knows how much he earns. Like it's kind of secret or they don't talk to each other about it. And that's important. I do have a money talk uh episode that I recorded. So I'm not going to go into the sharing thing, but I think generally it's strange that a husband and wife they talk I mean they don't talk about how much money each of them earn. That's just strange. Especially the guy seems to not tell her how much exactly he makes, how much is in his bank account, how much savings he has. That doesn't make any sense. What kind of marriage is this? I mean, if you are married and uh then you have to know each other's economical situation, how much loan you got, how much debt there is, credit cards, you can't just hide these things. I mean, it's not even hidden. It's like uh they don't talk about it. They don't bring it and put it on the table, so to speak. That's that's that's strange and absolutely not okay. I think it's completely abnormal. A husband and wife is not some kind of boyfriend girlfriend situation. They both have to know how much money is there in this marriage. I mean it has nothing to do with oh I want to take his money or I want to take her money. It's it's not about that. You have to know the how to say money situational awareness so that you know okay we have this much money maybe we can't rent this car we can't buy that house. Maybe we don't have money to buy food tomorrow. I mean, who knows? Especially in a situation when the guy is gambling and drinking alcohol. I don't know if he's an alcoholic, but it seems that he drinks a lot and gambles. And this is just a bad sign. And on top of that, she didn't tell her parents about this. So, she doesn't tell the parents that I'm sending the little money I have to him, big chunk of it to him every month. I think that's also very wrong. She should absolutely tell her parents about the situation of this new husband of hers. And maybe the parents say, "Hey, what is this? They should check this out." Like take a closer look at it. And she doesn't even like the place he lives in. Seems very bad apartment. But here's the thing. When the guy is not loving, the situation is dark. He's spending all the money he has and takes more money from the wife. So when the apartment isn't some kind of fancy home, it it feels more darker actually. I mean, sometimes you're happy together. It doesn't matter. You live in a street and you're happy. Who gives a who gives a damn as long as you're happy? But when there is no happiness, there is this feeling of separation that the husband now doesn't even text her or call her nothing and she has to chase him and the money is ending or invisible and he's drinking and gambling. Yeah. Then I can understand that dark apartment will look very much darker, low ceiling and such. But sometimes a tiny little hole can become so much light and there are two people in it with happiness together. By the way, I apologize for my breathing in case it's the microphone picks it up because I'm exercising at the same time that I record this episode. So, don't worry. I'm not I'm not dying or something right now, at least. It's just that I'm exercising, doing aerobics and such. So, keeps me keeps me going while I'm recording the episode. So, back to the subject. I think in a marriage things should be very open, very clear and you should absolutely involve your parents at least or your siblings if there are situations that are seemingly abnormal or problematic. Even if you don't have a good communication with the parents or sibling like okay they they don't give good advices and such I think it's still wise to involve them at least inform them like hey my husband is taking the money I have and he uses up his own money so at least they're in they're aware of the situation about their kids like okay what's going on here maybe we should be more careful for example Don't jump into marriage blindly. Before you marry somebody, check check. It's okay to check, hey, how much money you got? What's your salary? Where do you live? How does your apartment look like? And as a matter of fact, if somebody doesn't ask these questions, that's also odd. Why aren't you interested in that person? Like, why don't you want to see his or her apartment, how she or he lives? It's nice to take a photo sometime. Maybe even ask who are your friends? Um, who do you hang out with? I mean, maybe this person doesn't fit you at all. You don't know that. Everybody can type you. Oh, I love you so much. Love you, love you. But you don't really know now, do you? So they go into this kind of love bubble blindly and then get stuck into it and they don't see the issues and problems and they don't even know the situation. What if it's a scammer? God forbid. There are lots of these man or woman doesn't matter. They scam you. They're like, "Oh, I love you so much." And they find somebody lonely and they start using them for money, credit card. Can you can you pay this for me? Just this once and can you buy this ticket? Can you do this? Oh, I really need this. And the other person is in love and says, "Okay, it's going to be my husband or my wife. It's fine. It's our money anyway. We can help each other. It's no problem." But really, sometimes it turns out that you are being used and I personally have been in this situation. I have been used many times. Many times I've been used um scammed and I mean it's okay it's a journey you learn but it's good to be careful so you don't lose too much money at least I don't think anyone in the entire life can prevent being scammed at some point we will get scammed from even sometimes you buy something and you think it's very nice and then you come home with it see like oh no this is not nice at all. I just I just got scammed. Well, not uh literally scammed, but it is a kind of like, oh no, I did a mistake. I lost money. So, a bit loss is acceptable. Also, a bit risk is acceptable to to find. Sometimes we take a risk. We say, "Okay, I'm going to give this person some money. It's a risk, but it should be a calculated risk. Will you completely go bankrupt giving this insertion money or will you be a bit tight a few weeks for example or a few months? So you have to always consider risk versus benefit of such situations just in case somebody turns out to be scammer or not full scammer but just using you. I mean there are lots of people who use you for money whatever reason it is they do use people. people use each other. That's that's normal. You just got to calculate, am I okay with losing this 0 or not, for example. So, take a calculated risk, but don't jump in head first into a marriage without knowing anything. That's not calculating risk. That's just well stupidity, insanity, ignorance, careless, but that's definitely not good to do. So now anyway, she's stuck in this marriage now. Who knows how it will end. I don't know. I don't have more details. In case I have more details, maybe I will do a follow-up episode on that. But the point of this episode is talk with each other before jumping into a marriage. You have to know the situation of the other person. Loans, debts, credit cards, money, income, savings, house. Check this all out. And it has again nothing to do with I want to take your money. I want half. I want this. No, it has to do with you. Want to know what's your situation? What's your position? Maybe you need to save extra money for yourself. For example, we don't know that. So it's good to know these things. So again, even if you have a prenup that, hey, I won't get any money from this guy if we divorce. It doesn't matter. No, it still matters. Even with the prenup, it still matters because you have to plan your own life still. Even though you're married together, you got to plan. And how can you plan anything without having enough information about the the money, income, savings, loans, credit score, all kinds of things. And it's nothing weird. I mean, a man and woman when they marry, they're one. So, it's not secret. Oh, no. My wife can't know how much I earn. What What does that even mean? There's no that information should not be private anymore. Once you're married, hey, this is my job. This is how I earn. And yeah, that's my sock. That's my path. There's no secrets. Just just open things up. Put it on the table. It's okay. I think it's best to do this before marriage, not after marriage. Suddenly comes the shock. Oh, by the way, I got no money. Oh, by the way, I got a million dollar debt on me, for example. So, put it on the table, both of you. So both of you enter this marriage uh with as much information about each other as possible because what if somebody doesn't like certain thing and doesn't want to be in this marriage it's better to know that before than after right I mean what's what's the point wasting each other's life and time so inform each other talk with each other don't be embarrassed it's okay to talk don't be afraid either if somebody doesn't like your income, she says or he says, "No, you don't earn enough money for me. I I think I don't like it and I don't want to marry you," for example. And that's fine, but because then that's not the person right for you. I mean, you don't want to marry somebody based on lies. Oh, I earn ,000 a month, but really it was a lie. You earn only maybe 500 bucks. And then you go marry somebody and they shock knowing that oh you you didn't tell me how much you earn. Maybe they are after money. I mean we don't know and you don't want that situation right? So lying doesn't help anything. You just waste your time their time. It's just ridiculous. I mean if you marry then be honest so you can find the person that is absolutely right for you that wants to be with you because marriage is not always happiness. It's 90% of life is actually problems. So you want actually to be with the person that can handle problems, not happiness. Everybody can handle happiness or who can handle problems. That's the key here. The one that really wants you, the one that really loves you, can stand by you, next to you in middle of sickness, problem, disasters, mistakes, all kinds of things happen in in life, in marriage. So, you want the right person next to you, not somebody that runs away. Uh-oh, problem. Uh-oh, no money. I'm out. And how do you find this person? By honesty. By being honest to each other. only that we can find the right person that okay this person will stand by me I got no money I'm butt naked in the street for example but she or he accepts me as the way I am and that's good that's that's the one for you because then you can you can be secure in this marriage thinking okay if this person can handle problems then this marriage won't dissolve as easily then then we can build a life together in the security of heart not always worrying oh my god I didn't tell her how much I earn oh my god today I didn't earn enough money now maybe she will leave me or maybe he will leave me and this is not a fun life for either of you be honest share information share everything thank you and goodbye.