ExitByDeath ❤️‍🔥

When tiny little lies become tiny little manipulations and then tiny little manipulations become big manipulations. So if you listen to my older episodes, Tiny Little Lies, there was this guy that keeps lying and hiding stuff up and down, left and right. So this is a little tiny follow up on that an interesting subject. So the guy continued to to hide things Turns out, even though they fight about the very same things that stop hiding things, just tell me what you do. She found a pill on the floor of the bedroom in front of his closet. And the pill looks strange. She doesn't know what's what's this pill about. Checking around internet, online with AI and nothing. Looks like supplement, but who knows? Uh, it could be drugs. I mean, we can't know that just looking at the pill. So, she searches his wardrobe and closet and finds out the pills. More pills, a lot more pills hidden in a sock between the clothes way back in the closet. Now, it wasn't something like bad drugs. It was doctor prescription for his uh some kind of issue with his sperm count or something. So he claims at least but still it's it's hidden medicine. You live together as a cohabitant or married couple. You can't do that. You can't just go take medicine. Especially if it's about fertility without your partner knowing about it for months and then suddenly she finds out and he's like, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it." Or something like that. playing playing the victim here. You didn't mean it. You didn't You accidentally took pills for weeks and weeks and didn't tell her. And she's lucky she found the pill that he had accidentally dropped on the floor and forgotten to pick up. And so this stuff of course makes you paranoid like what the hell is going on? Why you keep hiding stuff? And so she she became paranoid. And of course, she she was thinking, "Hey, I should check his Amazon history and maybe bank transactions and credit cards. Who knows what's going on here?" Because uh before she confronted him about the pill, she sit down with her sitting there and telling him like, "Okay, tell me what you have hidden." Trying to see if he will come clean. And he he came out clean. All right. bought some other stuff like, "Oh, did you find my eye drops? Oh, did you find my hidden clothes in my bag?" More stuff that she didn't even know about. She's like, "No, I found the pills." And then he goes, "Oh, the pills." Like playing completely stupid. So, of course, she gets complete paranoid and she starts asking him, "Give me your phone. Let's go through your uh bank transaction on Amazon shopping list and stuff just just to be sure it's clean. Maybe he bought some, you know, prostitute or something. Well, I mean, you never know. You find strange pills that your significant other takes. You can think all kinds of paranoid thoughts. So, thankfully, everything else was clean. There was no bank transactions or shopping weird things and stuff. But day after, even though the guy kept hiding things and lied to her for months, he now is playing the victim towards her. He says, "Oh, I talked to my dad and he didn't like that you wanted to see my buying transactions and such thing that you did you did check my phone." Even though it wasn't done in secret or anything, fully legal, she asked him, "Give me your phone. Let's go through it." So, he did give her the phone, too. So, it was like no nothing weird going on or in secret. He was there and they were checking it together just to be sure there's nothing strange going on or hidden. And he's still claiming, "Oh, you made me feel like a criminal by doing that." This is classic manipulation. He's trying to shift the blame from himself to her. He's the one lying. He's the one taking medication without telling her it secret. And many other hidden things he had, not just this one. He he lies and hides things a lot. Even when he they at the restaurant and he looks at some women that he finds sexy perhaps and she's looking at his face and his eyes. And she literally sees him and she says, "Hey, you're looking at them." He says, "No." A complete fool lying through his teeth right in front of her into her face. So now suddenly he's like, "Oh, you make me feel like a criminal. I'm the victim here. I'm so sad." And in such situation, we must be careful to not get manipulated like this. It's she didn't do anything wrong. She has been telling him for months that stop lying. Whatever it is, come talk to me. Let's we live together. There should not be any hidden stuff going on. There should be full transparency between couples that live together. Be it as a girlfriend, boyfriend, cohabitant or just normal marriage for example. And now he's playing all sad that I am sad. I'm the victim. I'm this. I'm that. I made my wife this way. It's all about him now. his sadness and then he slips from time to time. He slips in that but you did wrong that you checked my phone. You made me feel criminal. He keeps manipulating into feeling bad for him because she did check up on him. Even though the there was nothing wrong and it was fully valid to do so. Any normal person if they found some strange pill that the husband or boyfriend or girlfriend or wife takes that they don't know about and then they find a sock hidden in a closet and the sock is full of pills. Of course they will get paranoid. Of course they will ask, "Hey, what's going on? I want to see what's going on." They they they shouldn't be made into feeling guilty or bad. And thankfully she sees his manipulation and she understand that this guy is trying to manipulate her or gaslight her. I don't even know what to call it. It's very very ugly situation. And it's sad because they they like each other. There's no need for this kind of hiding. But the guy seems I don't know like afraid that she will leave him if he takes some medicine or there is some fertility issue. But still, even if she would leave him, that's no reason to lie and take medication in secret. That's that's very bad. That's very very bad. That's basically almost like a scam. Like you're manipulating somebody with lies to stay with you. That's that's not okay at all. So my point is be careful. Don't don't get manipulated into thinking you are the one doing something bad when you're checking up on somebody that did something wrong. Especially when they hide things in a relationship. Look, it's different if you don't live together. You're just maybe boyfriend, girlfriend or something like that. Just dating for example. Fine. Then uh he or she doesn't need to know what's in your medicine cabinet. That's that's not a lie. That's just your apartment, your home, your house, wherever you live. That's that's your that's your thing, whatever you do. But as soon as you move in together, that's different than the medicine cabinet is a shared cabinet. You can't have your own medicine hidden in secret and taking it. Especially when it comes to things that affect both of you, for example, fertility. This just creates paranoia and distrust in a relationship. It's complete full dishonesty. So be careful in in these situations. Don't feel guilty that you want to check up the person's phone. But also be careful. Don't do it illegally. You can't just pick somebody's phone up and in secret check the messages, check bank accounts. That's not legal. So you check check check the laws of your country wherever you live and uh even if it's would be in theory for example legal in your country I don't think it's good to do it in secret I think this kind of stuff needs to be very open on the table so together you sit and say listen you have lied I don't trust you there's some weird things going on I want to know what's going on show me your phone show me your bank transaction whatever it is that you And if a person refuses to do so now that's a warning sign like what why are you hiding something? What is it? Why wouldn't you want me to look at your phone? Now I don't condone that you go search your significant other's partner once a week or something. That's that's just nasty. But when you live together in my opinion you both should have access to each other's phones, the passwords. Everything everything should be open. But what if it's an emergency? You need to call somebody or something. You got to be able to access the other's phone. Also, when you live together, there's there are no secrets. So there you shouldn't be like, "Oh my god, you want to check my phone? What if this and what if that?" And that's the point. There should be no secrets when you live together. Because when there are secrets, it means you are manipulating the other person into wanting you. And that's bad for the other person and that's bad for you. Because really, you want to be with somebody that wants you for who you are, not for who you show to them that, oh, look, I'm manipulating you to think that I'm this and that, but I'm really not. That's that's bad for both of you and you're wasting both time and life of both of you. And don't do that. Just be honest. It's okay to be alone. It's hard. I know it's very difficult to be alone. It's lonely. But manipulating somebody with lies and all kinds of deceitful things to to be with you and to try to keep them, you're wasting your own time. Because think about it this way that whoever actually fits with you that ma matches you and that wants you is out there still searching for you. So don't stay with somebody that you need to manipulate and lie to to just keep that that's waste of your own life and time as well as theirs. You better keep searching until you find the one, the person that can tolerate your quirks, your positive sides and negative sides without you needing to hide it. Then you can be relaxed and have a nice life together. If you're an orange and you put makeup on to make yourself look like a tomato, of course, all you will find is tomatoes. But what you want is an orange, right? If a tomato comes with you and thinking, "Oh, it's a tomato." But later on, you remove your makeup and the tomato realizes, "Uhoh, this was an actually this was actually an orange. I I don't want an orange. I want a tomato." And so the tomato lives. Or you have to always put makeup on to make yourself look like the tomato because the tomato doesn't want an orange. It's better just look like an orange, whoever you are, and then find your orange. Finds the person that wants you as the orange that you are. Hey, maybe you even find a tomato that likes oranges. You don't know that. You don't know until you search it. So, long story short, be yourself. Be an orange. Be a tomato. Don't put makeup on. Don't hide things. be honest and then you will find the one that is truly supposed to be with you, your true other half. Thank you. Goodbye.